Autumn

Autumn rain here in the Blue Ridge Mountains can be a gloomy affair. It’s cooler than the weather we’ve previously experienced in late August, it’s darker outside – even at noon, and it continues for a much longer period. Gone are the short and warm summer showers. During the fall season, rain continues steadily for sometimes several days. We don’t really appreciate it like we do in the summer since nothing needs to grow, like crops or flowers and so we wonder why we even need so much rain at one time.

My house has a tin roof and I love it! I grew up in a house with a tin roof so, naturally it produces a sound that proves to be nostalgic, relaxing, and settling to me. I wonder why we are drawn to such droning sounds. The ocean sounds the same 24/7 as the waves hit the sand, yet we love that continuous and lulling resonance. We’re out on the beach most of the day and if we are fortunate to have ocean front lodging, we open our doors or windows at night so that we can hear that same sound. Odd, we humans are. (I’m forming my sentences like Yoda in Star Wars now!!) I’d like to think that we develop these habits and tendencies because we are drawn to forces of nature. I mean, some people even buy machines to mimic the sounds of nature and use them for sleep or relaxation purposes.

Ok, so back to the autumn rains (I digress!). There’s also something sad about this rainy season. We know that the leaves will be coming off the trees soon and the green fields will be turning to sprays of brown and wheat colors. Corn fields will be stripped of the vibrant green stalks and look like shreds of paper blowing from sticks. Flower gardens that looked so vibrant in color and freshly manicured in the spring and summer, will have a swampy and dismal appearance.

We put away our shorts and t-shirts and pull out wrinkled bundles of sweat pants and long sleeved shirts from boxes labeled “winter clothes.” We hear chainsaws in the distance as people prepare to stock wood piles for heat. We smell the first remnants of wood smoke traveling through the air like a familiar song we might hear on the radio. It’s a sure reminder that cold days and nights are ahead.

I can’t help but equate this time of year to my own life. I guess when I let go of tending to my flowers and wearing sandals, I also relinquish my free-spirited and blithe demeanor for a more conservative and sheltered mindset. The doors are closed and I retreat to my cocoon of warmth and protection. I focus now on the dusty shelves and neglected corners of the rooms, much like the inside of my head! I tune in …… and turn in ……. and listen. Oh yeah, I think…….there’s that. It’s back. That darkness that can spread so rapidly before I even know it's there. So, it’s time to pamper myself with a hot cider and soup like therapy. Wrap myself up in a blanket and fight off the coldness of the world.

I watch and listen to the rain outside my window, thinking of the many autumns that have passed through my life. The multitudes of people with whom I have shared my time and thoughts. The mass of feelings that have swept through my heart. And I can only hope that with the rain that falls on this autumn day, so will my fears and obscurity. That I will have the warm and sheltering comfort of my friends and family. That I will take time out from the grey skies of this season and focus on the sunshine that finds its way inside me..... if I let it. I think I will.