Fate

I've been thinking a lot about fate lately and how, for such a small and simple word, it determines so much about our lives. At first glance, the word "fate" may seem illusory or implausible; that it holds no validity when it comes to controlling our lives. However, if you think of fate in terms of being able to control it, then it becomes more tangible and realistic.


So, what does all of this mean? Well, if you look back in (your) time, maybe something specific like a job, a relationship, or even just a one day event, you can easily see how it affected you, what you learned from the experience, or what you gained or lost. After examining this particular situation closely, you may realize that the events leading up to it fell into place because of something you desired. This can all seem confusing and sort of like being in a maze but, we've all used the phrase "Everything happens for a reason" at one time or another. We almost feel like we have to believe that. I mean, what choice do we have anyway? It happened and we have to deal with it.

I can look back on major events in my life and sort of put the pieces to several puzzles together. I wish I had kept a more consistent and daily journal because my memory is starting to fade on so many events. Even the more recent ones!! I can talk to old friends and they will bring up events that I have completely forgotten. Sometimes I'll say, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that" and then other times my mind is completely blank.

So, the word "fate" to me is heavy-laden. It's rather grandiose for a simple four-letter word. It's an all-encompassing, larger than life, kind of word. Sometimes it can even be a little scary or intimidating. It's your FATE! Ahhh! Scary! But, then realistically it's something that we can embrace and examine and cherish. We can hold our lives in the palm of our hand, examine them, analyze them and say, "Oh, I get it now."

To be quite honest, I haven't been happy with 100% of my fate. Maybe 75%?? There are so many things I wish I had done differently. There are also many things that I wish I could change about my personality and my behaviors. But, are we able to really do that? Does "fate" take over anyway? No matter how we try to change and take control, will fate always dominate? It seems to be a vicious cycle in some ways. Damned if we do and damned if we don't.

I figure I've lived about two-thirds of my life (I'm thinking optimistically here that I don't get hit by a truck tomorrow). So, I still have some time to consider my fate and try to make some sense of it. I don't view my life as a total waste, although as I said earlier, I would certainly do some things differently. But, I certainly don't want to be stagnant and wait around to just see what fate has to offer. I would like to have a little more control in the matter. I feel that I deserve that much.

So....fate....you're a tiny word with a lot of weight. I challenge you today. I will look you in the eyes and go forward with my life. I will hold tightly all the things that have made me who I am today. I will cradle my happy times like a baby and keep them safe. As fate would have it, life is pretty nice right now!

Tick Tock

I know. It's been forever since I've posted on here. Where's my inspiration? Where's all of my designated writing time? What happened to my desire to write?

Honestly, the days seem to go by so quickly! I never get as much done as I plan to and my list never gets completely completed. There's always one or two or three things that I never get to. Yet, I see (or actually read on facebook) a lot of my friends living for Fridays. Willing the days to go by quickly. Every time I read a post such as, "two more days until Friday," or "7 hours and 25 minutes until the weekend," I can't help but think that so many people are wishing their lives away!

Maybe because I'm getting older and right on the outskirts of 50, I'm very sensitive about wishing for warp speed when it comes to my days of living. Maybe it's because I don't have a job that I dislike or maybe it's because I don't have a job at all! I know that I was always counting down the days to holidays when I worked as a teacher. Days off from work during the week were the best! So sure, I have certainly been guilty of wanting days (or weeks) to go by oh so quickly.

I guess it all comes down to loving, enjoying, and relishing in what we do on a daily basis, particularly our jobs. My biggest job right now is raising my son. I certainly don't want the days to zoom by when it comes to him being young and thinking of me as a goddess! To him, I'm beautiful, funny, entertaining, amazing, and basically..... omnipotent! Yes, that's me.....Mommie the Goddess of Everything! All hail to me!

So, I guess while I'm panicking over what doesn't get done on my "To Do" list and my friends are TGIFing, the earth will just continue to spin on its axis as usual. Creating 60 seconds in every minute, 60 minutes in every hour, 24 hours in every day, seven days in a week, and so on. Time. It is what it is ....... and no amount of wishing, dreading, anticipating, or holding our breath will ever change it. Not here on earth anyway. But, that's a "whole nother" blog post.