Renewal

I’ve learned a lot about people over the years but, it seems that during the past five years, I’ve had an overdose of conflict and clashing. By clashing I mean, personalities that you just don’t jive with, mesh with, or even comprehend. The main thing that I’ve realized is that some people never grow up! They create the same environment and situations that you found yourself a part of in middle and high school! They are locked in their cages of jealousy, malevolence, and resentment. They are so consumed with their own feelings that they want others to join them in experiencing the same hostility. So, they speak, and talk, and converse, and chatter…..until they feel they’ve proven their point and have gained a few converts and loyal believers. The stories start to grow, the exaggerations begin to expand, and the fabrications appear to be real and solid truth.

I’ve encountered these personalities in the workplace and the culprits have all been my age or older! I just don’t get it. I was always taught to respect my elders and by God, I have! However, these latest episodes have proven to be disheartening to me. Why is it that some people feel the need to hurt (emotionally) another human being? Why do they feel the need to diminish others’ self-esteem and strip them of faith? Are they so poisoned by jealousy and bitterness that they are willing to use the spoken word as a weapon? Why is that some people, particularly women, feed on juvenile tactics and pot-stirring?

I truly believe that we are all connected energetically by a spiritual power and force of the universe and by God. I want to believe that all human beings are innately good and in want of the betterment of mankind. I want to believe that when a person hurts another, they feel remorseful because they realize they have unjustly and mistakenly created negative energy.

I’m realizing that my previous incidents of pain and distrust have caused me to somewhat hide and hibernate. I feel that I’m currently unemployed because I am so scarred and marred that I am afraid to go back out into the battlefield of society. I guess I’m just not ready …….. and just maybe, God knows that. Perhaps he is nursing me back to spiritual health and allowing me to lick my emotional wounds. If that is the case, then I know what my next goal in this life is. I know what I must conquer and surmount: My tolerance and understanding of our diverse mankind, a stronger backbone and thicker skin to uphold my dignity, and most importantly………to renew my trust in the human spirit.